Starting Over Again

“Instead of saying, "I'm damaged, I'm broken, I have trust issues" say "I'm healing, I'm rediscovering myself, I'm starting over.” 
― Horacio Jones

The thought of starting over can be very difficult and scary. Where to begin? How to begin? Why? After having my daughter I felt very insecure about my body. I felt like I couldn’t afford to get my hair done, nails done or even buy new clothing for myself. All of my energy and money was going towards my child. As exciting as having a new baby can be, I noticed that I was losing myself to motherhood and relationship-hood. I felt like I was giving every ounce of myself to my new family. I thought I was going through postpartum depression but this was different. I experienced this before. During college, after college, living in New Jersey, losing friends, losing relationships. This was all too familiar. I figured out that the common denominator of this equation was not just about all of these life changing events. The issue was me.

During the summer of 2017 I started doing yoga and going to the gym. This lasted a few months up until life got in the way again. I became busy with work and school. I was having trouble balancing everything so I had to quit something. I quit working on myself. I became depressed again. I’m going to spare you guys the details about everything that I was going through but fast forward to the summer of 2019 I decided yet again to begin a “wellness journey.” I desperately want to learn how to love myself. I want to be happy wholeheartedly. I have no choice anyways because I have a little one watching.

I’m excited to share with you guys my “wellness journey.” Stay tuned for more posts on modestlymalniq.com and videos on my youtube channel: ModestlyMalniq.